


Peacock to the Rescue

by quicksilversquared



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, also featuring The Most Stubborn Kwami In Existance, and he knows who Chat Noir is, ft. Gabriel as the Peacock, he has no patience for identity shenanigans, partial reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 13:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9237683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quicksilversquared/pseuds/quicksilversquared
Summary: Gabriel Agreste has no interest in being a superhero. After all, he has a company to run and clothes to design. But when Ladybug and Chat Noir end up struggling with a particular supervillain, he has to do something.In this case, that something is donning his wife's Miraculous.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A quick note before we begin: I wrote the majority of this before the Seasons 2 and 3 spoilers came out (yes, yes, I know that was forever ago. I was having issues with the ending), so I use a different name for the peacock kwami. This is in part because the characterization may be way off (so even though it's the Peacock Kwami, it could very well be counted as a different character...and that sounded like a better explanation in my head), partly because it's apparently a spoiler for Season McFreaking 3 and why the hell are we getting spoilers for two seasons out that is uncool and partly because I'm lazy and like my name for the peacock better.

Gabriel couldn't keep his gaze away from the television screen. A reporter was covering yet another one of Ladybug and Chat Noir's fights, as per normal. What _wasn't_ normal was how much trouble Ladybug and Chat Noir seemed to be having.

He had watched the fights before, of course. He'd be an idiot not to keep up with what was hot and trending in Paris, and the superheroes _definitely_ fit that description. Besides, it wasn't like he didn't have a personal interest in the superheroes; ever since he had met his wife he had been interested in superheroes and their history, and then ever since he figured out that his Adrien was Chat Noir, his interest had doubled. If he could find any information that would help them and get Adrien out of danger, he would do exactly that.

Gabriel knew that though Ladybug and Chat Noir sometimes had problems in their fights, they _always_ came out on top. Something came up in the last second that let them win, or the akuma made a stupid mistake, or they (well, Chat Noir mostly) got reckless and it somehow worked. It could make watching the fights stressful beyond belief.

Still, something was different this time. Their fighting seemed a bit on the desperate side and Chat Noir was getting kicked around a _lot_ more than usual. He was yawning as well, if you looked closely- and Gabriel _was_ \- which made him a little on the slow side to counter the akuma's blows.

Gabriel made a mental note to get Nathalie to back off on Adrien's schedule a bit. It was very likely that his boy wasn't getting enough sleep, which would explain the sloppy block Chat Noir had just pulled. However, a relaxed schedule wouldn't help Adrien right now. He and Ladybug were taking a beating, and it didn't look like they were going to be able to finish up before the lunch hour ended unless they somehow managed to turn the fight completely around.

It had happened before. Gabriel didn't particularly want to depend on it happening again.

Sighing, Gabriel finally gave up on getting any work done while the fight raged on. There was only one way he could possibly help now, and it was the one thing he _hadn't_ wanted to ever do. He would have to step in... that is, if Mezza would let him transform.

Mezza had been his wife's kwami, after all, not his, and wasn't very fond of him. The peacock kwami always complained about him being _too grumpy_ (Gabriel had no clue what Mezza was talking about), and had sworn that he would never let Gabriel transform with him, not even once for science's sake, but Gabriel knew for a fact that the peacock kwami could be bribed and that the cook had just bought a whole pile of strawberry guavas to make jam.

He could replace the fruit later.

 

* * *

 

By the time Gabriel fetched his wife's Miraculous from his hidden safe, he had five particularly tasty-looking guavas on his desk, one sliced open and displayed enticingly on a platter. He sat down, picked up the Miraculous, and waited.

It took all of fifteen seconds for Mezza to appear, looking befuddled as the blue-green bubble burst around him. As soon as his confusion cleared, the kwami narrowed his eyes at Gabriel. "Grouchface."

"Kwami." Gabriel inclined his head in the stiffest greeting possible. "You're needed. Ladybug and Chat Noir are struggling."

"Ladybug and Chat..." Mezza frowned, clearly puzzled. Gabriel supposed that being trapped in a brooch was perhaps a reasonable excuse for being out of the loop. "What is going on? Where is Ella?"

"Ella has been missing for over three years," Gabriel said a bit stiffly. He really didn't have the time to explain all that had gone on while Mezza was dormant. An abbreviated rundown would have to do for now. "A supervillain named Hawkmoth has been terrorizing Paris for nearly a year. I suspect based on the evidence that he may be holding Nooroo hostage. Ladybug and Chat Noir have been fighting his akumas." Gabriel gestured to the TV screen. Ladybug's Lucky Charm had just failed, and she would need to retreat soon to recharge. If he hurried, he might be able to get to the battle in time to provide cover for her to leave and return safely. "They need help in this fight."

Mezza eyed Gabriel warily. "And you want to help... why? It seems out of character for you."

The designer sniffed haughtily. "Perhaps I just want to help Paris' superheroes, since they're young and struggling. Like I said, the fight doesn't seem to be going particularly well."

"Uh-huh." Mezza didn't look convinced, though clearly the kwami was tempted by the treat Gabriel had left out. He was slowly drifting towards the fruit, even as he kept his eyes on Gabriel.

Gabriel withered. He didn't have the time to waste with convincing the kwami to cooperate with him, so he would have to pull out the one thing he _knew_ would convince the stubborn kwami. "Fine. My son is Chat Noir. I really would rather not see him or the girl he's clearly head over heels for get beat up. Happy?"

The change in Mezza's disposition was astounding. "Adrien is Chat Noir? And he's in danger! Oh, no!" The kwami dove on the pile of fruit. "I'll charge up right away!"

Of _course_ that would convince the stubborn bird. Mezza had always loved Adrien, though he had to stay out of sight as Adrien grew older and it became harder to convince him that the flying blue thing was a figment of his imagination.

Gabriel rose as Mezza started in on the second guava. "Do you happen to know what Ladybug's kwami likes to eat? It appears that she will have to recharge soon."

Mezza swallowed. "Cookies. Especially cookies with chocolate. She hates sugarless ones." A dribble of juice ran down the kwami's face. "I'll be done here in a minute."

Picking up the peacock pin (Gabriel didn't fully trust Mezza not to take it and run as soon as he was out of sight; their stubborn personalities had often clashed in the past, after all), Gabriel speedwalked to the kitchens, thanking whatever luck was on his side that the cook was still out of the room. He found a stash of cookies surprisingly easily, considering that both he and Adrien were supposed to be on healthy, low-sugar diets (he could _probably_ back off on that just a bit considering the number of calories Adrien doubtless burned off as Chat Noir). Gabriel grabbed five (who knew if all the kwamis were as big of a glutton as Mezza? Better to be safe than sorry) and practically ran back to his office, dropping crumbs down the front of his suit as he attached the pin to his lapel. Mezza was licking juice off of his cheeks, ignoring the folded napkin Gabriel had provided.

"Are you ready?" Before Mezza could answer, Gabriel straightened. "Mezza! Transform me!"

 

* * *

 

The fight against the akuma was not going very well, to say the least. The clock on the bank had been ticking steadily closer to the end of lunch period, meaning that Adrien wasn't going to have any time to eat or to review for the physics exam that afternoon. To make matters worse, Ladybug was down to two spots after using Lucky Charm and the akuma wasn't letting her escape to recharge.

"I'll try to distract him again," Chat Noir panted to Ladybug as the expression on her face grew more distressed. Like hell was he going to let Hawkmoth find out his partner's identity just because he was having an off day. "You just get as far away as fast as you can, all right? I'll hold him off." He flexed his fingers. "I haven't used Cataclysm yet, after all."

Granted, then _he_ would have to find a way to escape to recharge, but they would have to take that risk. It wasn't like they had any other options at the moment, and without any other superheroes to help them-

Just then, a blue-green streak dropped from the sky and directly onto the akumatized party-planner.

Both Ladybug and Chat Noir stared as a peacock-pattered fan folded into a baseball bat-sized rod and came down on the akuma's head, sending a _CRACK_ echoing through the air. The new figure clung to Party Parade's back, covering its eyes with one fan as he attached the other to his back so that he would have a free hand to hang on with.

Ladybug and Chat Noir gaped.

The new superhero- because what else could he be?- glanced over at them before reaching into a pocket in his suit, fishing out a plastic baggie and tossing it over to Ladybug. "Go recharge. I brought cookies for your kwami."

Chat Noir blinked as Ladybug caught the bag with a stunned expression. Her earrings beeped again. "Uh, do you know him? Is he your father or something, is that how he knew about what your kwami eats?"

Ladybug shook her head, opening the bag and blinking down at the contents. "N-no, my dad doesn't look anything like that and he doesn't know that I'm Ladybug. I don't know who that is."

Chat Noir's eyes snapped back to the new superhero. He wasn't feeling anything _off_ about him, so they would probably be fine. Besides, Hawkmoth had never done more than one akuma before at a time, if they didn't count Timebreaker. "Well, he seems friendly enough. Go recharge. We'll hold down the fort here until you get back."

Ladybug nodded and took off, and Chat Noir dove into the fray again. The peacock man was still clinging to the akuma's shoulders, simultaneously keeping the akuma blinded with his fan (thankfully it was not _actually_ made with real feathers; Chat Noir suspected it was actually metal) and keeping Party Parade's arm movements limited.

"If you know where the akuma is hidden, now would be a good time to steal it," the blue-green clad superhero called over his shoulder, looking incredibly disgruntled as the man under him spun around in circles, trying to buck him off.

Chat Noir winced. With the number of baubles and other bling that the akuma was wearing, neither he nor Ladybug had been able to figure out where the Akuma might be hidden. That was half the reason they had been having such a hard time with the fight. They had never had this much trouble with figuring out the akumatized object before, so it was a _little_ embarrassing that it would happen now. This was _not_ a good first impression to be leaving on a new superhero. Rather than to admit it, Chat Noir instead started pulling things off Party Parade at random, grinding baubles and necklaces underfoot and hoping for the telltale flash of purple and a black butterfly.

The new superhero did not look particularly impressed.

"So what's your name?" Chat Noir asked over the sound of cheap jewelry being smashed to bits on the pavement. "Or should I just call you Peacock Man?"

There was a dignified, unimpressed sniff. "You're not the best at names, are you? That was terrible."

Chat only barely restrained himself from pouting. His naming was _not_ terrible. "That was why I was asking _you_ about your name."

The other superhero gave him an irritated look as Party Parade gave a particularly violent buck. "Is now _really_ the best time?"

"How else am I supposed to get your attention if I don't have a name to call?" When he got no response, Chat Noir added, "I'm just going to call you Peacock Man unless you come up with another name."

"I'm back!" Ladybug announced before the newly-dubbed Peacock Man could reply. She landed lightly next to Chat Noir before taking in the scene in front of her with a wince. "Uh, how about we tie Party Parade to a light post? Then you can get off his back, Mr. uh- sir."

Peacock Man nodded, face expressionless. Chat Noir was suddenly reminded of his dad. The two men would probably get along _fantastically ._ "I do believe that sounds like a good idea."

Together, the two teen superheroes manhandled Party Parade over to the closest light post. Chat Noir and Peacock Man wrestled the akuma's arms to his sides long enough for Ladybug to tie him securely to the post, lashing his arms uselessly to his sides with Ladybug's yo-yo. As soon as he was secured, Peacock Man helped with ripping off the necklaces. Ladybug and Chat Noir ground them underfoot furiously.

"Oh, maybe it's one of the bracelets!" Chat Noir suggested, ripping those accessories off and cursing the fact that the party akuma had a Mardi Gras theme. Why someone was trying to have a _Mardi Gras_ celebration in _Paris_ was beyond him, but some people never passed up the chance to party. What it meant for them was an excessive number of accessories that the akuma could be hiding in.

"The rings!" Ladybug suggested, grabbing them and forcing the akuma's hands open. She smashed them in quick succession and finally, amazingly, the akuma fluttered free.

"You've done enough harm, little butterfly!" Ladybug sang happily as she captured it. "I'm freeing you from evil!"

"Bye-bye little butterfly!" Chat Noir chimed along with Ladybug. He watched with a grin as she tossed her old Lucky Charm- a traffic cone- into the air, sending the normal crowd of sparkling ladybugs spiraling into the air. They shared a fist bump before Ladybug turned to their new helper with a grin and an outstretched hand.

He was already gone.

 

* * *

 

Gabriel had finished sketching two new designs based on Mezza and his new costume by the time the sun started heading downward in the sky. He had even picked out the fabric that he would have to order to make the outfits, and had sketches of the ready-to-wear versions of the runway looks. Adrien had returned from fencing practice half an hour before (at least, he _should_ have. Where Adrien was supposed to be and where he actually was seemed to be quite different on an increasingly frequent basis). Mezza, still acting like a grouch, was munching serenely on the strawberry guavas. All was well.

And then a frustrated yell came from somewhere in the house.

Gabriel glanced up briefly before returning to his notes, trying to figure out if a completely Miraculous-themed runway would be tacky. The biggest problem, from his perspective, was the existence of the fox and bee Miraculous. Orange was such a difficult color to work with and yellow could read _cheap_ so easily. There were really too many vibrant colors to really work together in a classy runway. It would look like a children's paint box. Besides, it wasn't as though all of Paris knew about the other Miraculous. They would likely be confused by the inclusion of unknown superheroes, and besides, the inclusion of the Butterfly Miraculous could easily go sour.

"Aren't you going to go check on what that was?" Mezza asked, setting his fruit down. Gabriel wasn't sure how the kwami wasn't in a food coma already, considering the amount of fruit (including the peels!) the small sprite had shoveled down. He hadn't remembered Mezza eating that much when he was with Ella, though it was possible that his wife just hid the amount that her kwami ate so that Gabriel wouldn't make any disparaging remarks about the kwami's appetite.

Or perhaps it was a side effect of being inactive for so long. He really shouldn't be so quick to judge.

Gabriel shrugged, unconcerned as he made a couple quick sketches in the margins of his paper. "Nathalie will take care of it and alert me if there's something that she can't take care of."

They both jumped as a loud _CRASH_ echoed through the house, followed by an akuma's yell. "I AM KITCHEN MASTER AND _NO ONE_ WILL TAKE THINGS FROM MY KITCHEN WITHOUT PERMISSION!"

Gabriel blinked, then shared a guilty look with Mezza, who was still sitting on the sticky, juice-covered plate that had once held the guavas. "I forgot to replace the guavas, didn't I."

Mezza nodded. Gabriel sighed, turning back to his computer to bring up a grocery website and place an order. "I can't believe he got upset enough to be possessed by an akuma over _five guavas_."

"Five guavas plus two more after we came back plus five cookies plus however much Camembert Plagg has been eating, and he's a pig." Mezza let out a burp before patting his full stomach. Gabriel raised a single eyebrow. He wasn't certain that Mezza was really in any position to judge other kwamis for _eating a lot_. "Plus any snacks your son may have snitched considering that his diet probably doesn't take into account him running around as Chat Noir."

"Ah. You make a good point." Gabriel sighed, hauling himself to his feet. Ordering groceries could wait. After all, that's what he had Nathalie for. "Well, I suppose we should probably go and help since we sort of played a role in creating this akuma. Mezza-"

"Uh uh uh! Wait a minute!" Mezza ordered, cutting Gabriel off mid-word as he shot off the desk and got right into Gabriel's face. The designer paused, raising an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You need a transformation sequence! Last time, you just _stood_ there!" The kwami folded his arms, scowling. "Come up with something better!"

Gabriel scowled. "Surely Ladybug and Chat Noir don't do some anime-worthy transformation sequence every time they transform. I'm not going to twirl around like an idiot."

Mezza just stared at him, eyes unblinking.

Gabriel huffed out a sigh. " _Fine_. One twirl. _One_. And we will never speak of it again."

Mezza nodded, looking strangely smug. Gabriel suspected that his wife's kwami just enjoyed watching him make a fool out of himself. He straightened himself up, looking as dignified as possible, and, with a twirl, ordered, "Mezza! Transform me!"

 

* * *

 

Adrien had been having one _hell_ of a weird afternoon. The akuma attack earlier with the new (and much older) superhero had been strange beyond belief and he and Ladybug hadn't even had time to really discuss it before he had to rush back to school. He hadn't had time to eat anything during the lunch block, which meant that his stomach grumbled for two classes in a row before Marinette snuck half a fresh baguette into his bag while they were passing between classes. He had to try to push the Peacock Man out of his head during the physics exam with not much success, meaning that he was one of the last people to finish instead of the first. His brain was dragged straight back to the question of the new superhero as soon as he exited the classroom after the test and joined his friends. Alya already had seen the footage of the fight, of course, and was busy analyzing the clips.

"He's obviously quite a bit older than Ladybug and Chat Noir," Alya said, peering at her screen. "I mean, they're teens. He looks like he could be their dad's age, or maybe older. But he seems like a total newbie."

"He might have retired and only just come back," Marinette suggested. "He doesn't look as panicked and out of his depth as Ladybug and Chat Noir did at first."

"It might have just been that he's been following them on the news and knew what to expect," Adrien pointed out. "Besides, he has two experienced teammates instead of everyone being newbies. That could make a big difference."

Alya nodded along, eyes focused on her tablet as she typed furiously. The post for the Ladyblog was already three-quarters finished, and now she was adding in their theories. "This is such big news! I can't believe he showed up at one of the fights I _couldn't_ get to. I hope he shows up again soon so I can talk to him."

Somehow Adrien suspected that the Peacock Man might not be quite as receptive to interviews as he and Ladybug were. He had seemed rather aloof.

The new superhero was all anyone could talk about all afternoon. Both students and teachers chatted about him in between classes. Adrien even heard Madam Mendeleiev discussing how the laws of physics might apply to the superheroes and their weapons.

It was _weird._

Then right after school, Nathalie appeared with a bag of healthy snacks because apparently his father was worried that he wasn't getting enough to eat. Oddly enough, a round of Camembert sat among the home-baked granola bars and fruits.

Plagg had been pleased. Adrien was confused.

After fencing, Nathalie showed up again with a single-serving spinach and tomato pizza for Adrien. It looked healthy (probably a whole-wheat crust and low-fat cheese, any and all grease patted off), but very tasty.

Honestly, Adrien probably would have eaten a cardboard box at that point. The granola bars had helped take the edge off of his hunger, but it was getting late and he had worked up an appetite at fencing.

"Is this for dinner?" Adrien asked as he dug into the pizza. It was _delicious_. "Do I have a photoshoot or something we need to get to?"

Probably not a photoshoot. He wasn't supposed to eat (or drink) before a shoot, mostly because it could make him look a little bloated. Maybe he was going to be sitting in on a meeting, then, or his piano or Chinese teacher had to reschedule and he wouldn't have time for dinner. If that was the case, he would probably end up raiding the kitchen later. No matter how delicious the pizza was, it wasn't enough for a dinner, especially not when he had missed lunch.

Nathalie shook her head. "Your father wanted to make sure you had enough to eat. The chef had his afternoon off today and might get dinner out a little late."

Adrien blinked. His _father_ had thought of it? _Strange._

Adrien was pretty sure the day couldn't possibly get any weirder.

And then he arrived home just in time to see a raging akuma burst out of his kitchen.

 

* * *

 

Ladybug waved goodbye as soon as the akuma was purified and her Miraculous Cleaning Light had put everything back to normal, since her earrings had already given their third warning beep. The chef wandered back to the kitchen not long afterwards, accompanied by a frazzled-looking Nathalie who was promising to get everything restocked within the hour. She left Chat Noir and Peacock Man standing alone in the atrium.

Chat Noir extended a hand to the older superhero. "Thanks for your help. Ladybug and I really appreciated it."

Peacock Man waved his hand off. "It was the least I could do really, since I was partially responsible for our chef getting upset. I do think I'm going to ask Nathalie to provide a mini fridge for us to keep our Camembert and fruit in so that we don't have to keep snitching from him."

Chat Noir froze, eyes going impossibly wide as he slowly retracted his hand. "Huh?"

Peacock Man rolled his eyes impatiently. The gesture seemed oddly familiar. "Well, I'm assuming that you were probably buying some of the Camembert with your allowance but some of it was coming from the kitchens, since I've heard complaints about it going missing before. I will provide you with your own stash, so that we don't have the chef go and quit on us. It's such a bother to have to interview for new household staff and besides, I quite like this one's spanakopita and I don't think he would leave behind the recipe."

Chat Noir's jaw dropped as the pieces suddenly, _impossibly_ clicked into place. " _Dad?_ "

Peacock Man shrugged. "But of course." He dropped his transformation with a bored look on his face. Chat Noir blinked as his dad appeared and the last of the blue light faded. "You didn't honestly think that I wouldn't make the connection with the ring you wear, did you?"

"No one else has," Chat Noir argued weakly. His hand curled around the ring reflexively. "And where did you get a Miraculous from?" He hadn't heard any news from Plagg or from Ladybug about another superhero being chosen and if he was being honest, his father was one of the _last_ people he would ever suspect of being worthy of earning a Miraculous. Still, his father didn't seem particularly fazed by the question.

"It was your mother's. For whatever reason, she had decided to take it off before she went to Tibet. I found it. I saw you and Ladybug struggling and it didn't look like you were going to finish by the time lunch hour ended, so I decided to do something about it." Mr. Agreste gave a bored shrug, nearly displacing the kwami perched precariously on his shoulder. "It seems to have been effective enough."

Chat Noir blinked, taken aback. He hadn't been aware that his father actually paid attention to his schedule beyond the photoshoots. "You actually know when my lunch hour ends?"

Gabriel clucked his tongue. " _That's_ the question you're asking, really? Of course I know when your lunch hour ends. How did your physics exam today go?"

His son stared, even as his transformation timed out and faded away.

The elder Agreste gave an impatient huff. "You mentioned it last night."

 

* * *

 

The two Agrestes retreated to Gabriel's office a few minutes later so that they could talk without the staff members overhearing their conversation. Plagg stayed on Adrien's shoulder, eying Gabriel's kwami suspiciously as he nibbled on a slice of Camembert.

"I assume that all the times that you sneak off now are superhero-related business?" Gabriel asked placidly as he pulled out a container of fruit and handed it to his kwami. The blue kwami dove in with a squeal of glee.

"Ah, well..." Adrien started, trailing off as he thought about the _other_ times he had ditched his bodyguard. He had ditched for superhero things plenty of times, sure, but there were also the trips to the cinema, the hanging out with his school friends, the video game tryout and tournament, the cooking show with Marinette's uncle... "Yes?"

Gabriel leveled a look at him.

"Yes, definitely," Adrien said, straightening up and trying his best to look innocent. The look was somewhat undermined by Plagg sniggering on his shoulder. He sent a look at his incredibly unhelpful kwami. "Cat's honor. Definitely all superhero business."

Gabriel snorted as he sat down at his desk. "Cats _have_ no honor. They scratch and spray on your new furniture. I trust that you are not doing the same."

Adrien looked positively horrified. "I- no, I would never- why would you even _think-_ "

"Another thing I wanted to ask," Gabriel said blandly, examining his nails as he cut across Adrien's incoherent spluttering. "Do you ever _not_ make puns during a fight?"

Adrien shrugged as he did his best to regain his composure and dignity, watching as his father shuffled papers around the peacock kwami on the desk. "I tried not to once or twice, but Ladybug asked if I was feeling sick. I think she secretly finds them funny."

"Yes, well, she would be the only one." Gabriel rolled his eyes as he clicked on something on his computer screen- his email, Adrien guessed. Of _course_ he would be working again only minutes after an akuma fight, but at least he was actually conversing with Adrien in a fairly friendly manner.

Well, friendly for him, at least. It was a start.

"Have you come up with a new name for me yet?" Gabriel asked, glancing up from his computer screen. "I would prefer that the 'Peacock Man' thing not catch on. You have terrible on-the-spot naming skills."

"I do _not_ ," Adrien muttered before raising his voice back up to normal. "What did Mom call herself? Maybe you could use her name."

His dad made a face at that before smoothing his expression back into the bored look he usually had. "She called herself the Peacock Princess. I don't think that would work for me."

"Right, right." Adrien tried to think again. He really _wasn't_ the greatest at coming up with names, but he wasn't going to admit that to his father. "Superdad?"

"I believe that that particular name would imply that I am a great dad. I am not so deluded as to believe that that is the truth. Besides, it's just as terrible of a name as Peacock Man and Ladybug may be uncomfortable with calling me _dad_."

"Oh. Right. Um." Adrien worried at his lip until a sharp look from his father reminded him to drop it. Right. Couldn't mess up the face for photoshoots. "Peacock Dad- no, wait, that's just as bad- maybe, uh-"

"You have terrible naming skills," Gabriel interrupted as Adrien continued to try to think of a name that _wouldn't_ be absolutely cringe-worthy. "Promise me that when you have children you'll let Ladybug name them. Her name might not that creative either but at least she didn't come up with _Peacock Man_."

Adrien choked.

 

* * *

 

It didn't take very long for Gabriel to realize that kwamis were meddling little nuisances, even when stuffed full of the best fruit money could buy. Mezza made himself known whenever and wherever he felt like it, even when Gabriel was _clearly_ busy. It was enough to make the designer consider the possibility of banishing Mezza to his Miraculous whenever he wasn't needed.

Unfortunately, it also didn't take long for him to realize that that wasn't an option. Apparently he had to really _want_ to give up being Peacock Man for Mezza to return to the jewelry.

So for the time being, he would tolerate Mezza's quirks with the same aloof grace that the press always commented on. Nothing the little god could do could throw Gabriel off of his ever-present poise.

Well, almost nothing.

Gabriel was drafting an email to his marketing director when Mezza bit him on the ear. Hard.

"YOW! What was that for?" Gabriel demanded, turning to the bored-looking kwami. "You have your guavas, what else do you want?"

"It is time for Adrien to head to school," Mezza informed Gabriel, floating back to his plate of fruit and settling down. "He will be heading out to the car shortly."

Gabriel sent a glance at the clock. "Yes, I suppose so."

"Well, aren't you going to go wish him a good day?" Mezza demanded, planting his paws on his hips in a pose that _might_ have been intimidating had the kwami been several dozen times as large as he actually was. As it stood, he came across as rather cute instead, not that Gabriel would ever tell him that. "It'll take two minutes, tops, and if you don't normally do it then it'll make his day. I'll chew on your ear all day if you don't."

He would too. It had happened before and Gabriel had had to go to a board meeting with a swollen ear because of it. He did not particularly want to go through that again.

" _Fine._ " Gabriel stalked out of the room, calling a quick "Have a good day at school" to Adrien before returning to his seat. He sent a glare to Mezza. "Happy?"

Mezza looked smug.

The house fell quiet as Adrien left, accompanied by Nathalie and his bodyguard. Mezza had settled on one of the windowsills, contentedly watching a food cooking show on Gabriel's phone as Gabriel cleaned up a few sketches and reviewed the latest financial report Nathalie had put together for him.

But things couldn't stay quiet forever. Mezza's show ended and he got hungry. Discarding the phone and special-ordered headphones on the windowsill, he zipped over to where Gabriel was organizing bolts of fabric against the wall.

"Where did my fruit go?" Mezza asked, perching on Gabriel's head and knocking a few strands of hair loose from his carefully slicked-back style. "I can't find it anywhere!"

Gabriel shoved his hair back into place with a bitten-back curse. "It's in the fridge. It's getting warm outside and I didn't want it to spoil."

"I'm hungry!"

"Then phase inside the fridge and eat. I know perfectly well you kwami can go through solid objects."

Mezza flipped off Gabriel's head so that he could stare at him in disapproval. "I am not locking myself in a freezing plastic cube to eat in absolute darkness. The fruit needs washing, anyway. There might be pesticides on it and if there's not, there's still dirt."

Gabriel groaned, stomping his way over to the fridge. "You had no problem eating it right away when I snatched you stuff from the kitchen."

"Your chef washes his fruit like a normal, civilized person." Mezza floated behind Gabriel as he picked up a starfruit and stomped over to the sink, watching as the designer washed it. "Make sure you get the folds really clean."

"Would you like it sliced and sugar-encrusted as well?" Gabriel asked in annoyance, patting the fruit dry. Mezza perked up.

"Yes, of course!"

"I was kidding."

"I was not. Chop chop."

Gabriel only _barely_ refrained from throwing the kwami out the window.

 

* * *

 

Adrien was very, very glad his father now had a kwami of his own, even if he only rarely transformed and joined him and Ladybug in their fights. Mezza and Gabriel seemed to be on constantly grouchy terms with each other, but it seemed that the kwami was pushing Gabriel to actually interact with his son on a regular basis and to be more tolerant of other people.

"Mezza likes biting," Plagg commented lazily as he chewed on the Camembert that Adrien's father had bought. He burped. "He probably bites Gabriel whenever he wants to get his way."

Adrien snorted at the thought. If that was true, it was a miracle that Gabriel hadn't banished Mezza back to his Miraculous. His father didn't often tolerate people undermining his authority and biting generally fell under that category.

"Hawkmoth is lucky he didn't try to steal Mezza," Plagg continued, snickering a bit as he took another bite of cheese. "Nooroo is a bit weak-willed. Mezza probably would have bit him until he could get away and then went down to the street and screamed."

Adrien raised an eyebrow. "Screamed?"

"Mezza can scream as loud as a roomful of opera singers being murdered. He would have gotten so much attention that Hawkmoth wouldn't have been able to transform before someone came and rescued Mezza." Plagg sniggered at the thought. "Mezza almost never lets people who he doesn't like get anywhere close to his Miraculous, let alone transform. He wouldn't have told Hawkmoth anything, unlike Nooroo. Nooroo _volunteers_ information without being asked."

Adrien guessed that volunteering information was probably a huge offense in Plagg's eyes, especially since it required talking about something that wasn't cheese. The fact that it was _Hawkmoth_ that Mezza had been talking to probably hadn't factored into the offense at all.

Adrien was also assuming that the volunteered information was of the helpful sort, instead of the random tidbits Plagg dropped whenever it amused him.

"I really doubt that Mezza is biting my father, though," Adrien said, going back to their earlier conversation topic. "He wouldn't stand for that, even from a kwami." Adrien wasn't sure what his father might do to stop Mezza from biting, but he suspected it might involve blackmail or bribery.

Plagg raised an eyebrow. "Even your father isn't stubborn enough to out-stubborn Mezza. He's getting bitten, I guarantee it."

"You don't know my father like I do."

"And you don't know Mezza like I do," Plagg shot back. "Tell you what, why don't we make a bet on it? When I win, I want you to buy me a specialty cheese of my choosing, enough for two whole days."

" _If_ you win," Adrien corrected. "And if I win, no eating cheese in my bed or in my clean laundry for a month. Deal?"

Plagg's grin stretched across his face as he stretched a paw out for Adrien to shake. "Deal."

 

* * *

 

"Sir, your ear is looking a bit red," Nathalie commented as she passed Gabriel his schedule for the day. The elder Agreste had started joining Adrien at the breakfast table, even if he only read the newspaper as Adrien ate. When Adrien commented on it, Plagg had only cackled and muttered something about cheese under his breath. "It looks like some sort of insect bite, maybe. Would you like for me to call someone to check your bed for bugs?"

Adrien chanced a glance at the ear Nathalie was referring to and smothered a snort. It looked like Plagg was right- Mezza _did_ bite. Imagining his stern, straight-faced father getting pushed around by the peacock kwami via bites was actually a fairly amusing mental picture.

Darn. He definitely owed Plagg his special cheese, then. Knowing the kwami, it would probably be expensive, hard to find, and very, _very_ smelly.

Gabriel still heard the snort and fixed Adrien with a look. Pasting his best poker face on, Adrien fixed his gaze on his food and shoveled a bite in his mouth, even as the corners of his mouth twitched up traitorously.

"I do not think that will be necessary, Nathalie," Gabriel said carefully. Adrien could still feel his father's eyes on him, just _daring_ him to say anything. He did his best to wrestle his expression into a more neutral expression. "My guess is that I got bitten while I was overseeing the photoshoot setup last week. Perhaps you could look to see if we have any creams in the house to reduce swelling."

"Of course, sir," Nathalie said immediately. She handed Adrien his schedule before leaving the room quickly. The room was silent for a moment as Adrien and his father listened to Nathalie's footsteps clacking quickly across the atrium.

Of course, Adrien's pocket decided to break the silence by sniggering rather loudly.

"I'm glad you're amused, Plagg," Gabriel said coolly as he set his newspaper down on the table. "I'm guessing that you saw this coming?"

"We bet on it," Adrien admitted when his pocket didn't respond. "I didn't believe Plagg when he said that Mezza was biting you. I owe him some sort of specialty cheese now."

Gabriel's lips twitched just barely at that. "I see." He picked up the schedule that Nathalie had left and started to peruse it before setting it back down a second later. "You are aware of the photoshoots coming up?"

"Of course." It would be hard _not_ to know about the spate of photoshoots that always dominated the weeks leading up to a big runway show.

"Be sure to bring your homework to them. There may be a fair amount of down time between shoots with the number of models we have." Gabriel glanced back down at his schedule. "And as I expect you know, I will be very busy today and likely will be until Fashion Week ends. Don't expect to see me out on the battlefield until afterward everything is wrapped up. I assume you and Ladybug can handle things as you have been."

Adrien nodded quickly. "Of course." He hadn't expected his father to join them frequently thanks to his workload, and indeed Peacock Man only had showed up to a few fights since the first two, mostly when Adrien was supposed to be somewhere else or when the noise was getting on Gabriel's nerves. Ladybug hadn't questioned his absence at all.

"And I trust that you can let Ladybug know that she shouldn't be expecting to see me," Gabriel added.

Adrien nodded. Ladybug wouldn't be happy to hear that, but she probably wouldn't be _too_ surprised. "Right."

 

* * *

 

It wasn't until the Paris Fashion Week that Peacock Man showed up again. Gabriel had been hard at work getting everything ready for the show and associated photoshoots and could not be interrupted at all. Since none of the attacks took place near his house or his company, they were not disturbances he had to care about.

And then, not even an hour before the first of the main designer's models walked, the Fashionista arrived with a shout and a bang.

"YOU'LL NEVER IGNORE MY DESIGNS AGAIN!" the akuma roared as he stormed the backstage area in the most fashion-forward outfit Adrien had seen on an akuma yet, tying models, seamstresses, backstage workers, and designers alike up in couture straightjackets flung from the sketchpad he clutched in his hand. "EVERYONE WILL SEE MY DESIGNS AND SEE THAT THEY'RE BETTER THAN THOSE LAZY, UNINSPIRED, SO-CALLED 'BIG' DESIGNERS!"

Gabriel sighed in exasperation as his models scattered in a blind panic. He had been on his best behavior all day (it was starting to come a little more naturally, though he was pretty sure that it was more due to the always-lingering threat of Mezza's bites more than an actual personality change) and he was _positive_ that he hadn't ticked anyone off.

Mostly positive. Some people just had unreasonably thin skin.

"Enough eating, Mezza. We're needed."

Mezza looked up from where he had been enjoying a wide selection of candied tropical fruits in Gabriel's inner pocket. "You're actually going to help again?"

Gabriel sighed impatiently. His refusal to transform before Fashion Week was over had been a constant sore point for Mezza, who insisted that Miraculous holders had a _duty_ to help. He insisted that he had a duty to not let his company down so close to one of their biggest events of the year. "The show is going to get delayed if the attack drags on too long. We're losing prep time and the models are going to mess up their outfits and hair if they're getting chased. Ladybug's Cleaning Light only does so much. Mezza, transform me!"

"Don't forget the twiiiiiiiirl!" Mezza cried as he was sucked into Gabriel's pin (concealed beneath the lapel of his jacket, of course, since it disrupted the flow of his outfit to have an oddly-shaped pin exposed). Gabriel ignored him.

Chat Noir joined him a moment later. At Peacock Man's sharp look, the other superhero sighed and only just refrained from rolling his eyes. "Yes, I hung the jacket back up so it wouldn't get damaged."

"Good, good." Peacock Man pulled his fans off of his back and snapped them open. "Now let's go stop that fashion disaster of an akuma before he messes up my models' looks."

 

* * *

 

It didn't take long for Ladybug to arrive, making Chat Noir guess that she had probably been in the area surrounding the building, or maybe even had been attending Fashion Week herself. The thought that she might have come to watch, that she would be seeing _him_ strut down the runway looking clean and dapper, made Adrien's heart flutter.

Of course, she would then _also_ be seeing dozens of other models, including a number of older guys who were incredibly good-looking and very fit, and whose clothes showed more than a little skin. Adrien, in his father-approved, more conservative runway looks, would probably fly more under the radar.

He tried not to pout at that thought.

"He seems to be targeting the presenting designers the most," Peacock Man commented, pointing to a series of civilian victims encased in orange and maroon and strung up in the rafters. "Four of the main designers. I saw three of the more minor shows back in the other room."

Ladybug blinked. "You're familiar with fashion?"

"Naturally."

Chat Noir tried not to snort. He mostly succeeded.

"But weren't there five main designers presenting?" Ladybug asked, scanning the floor. "There's one still missing, isn't there?"

Chat Noir gulped. It was probably too much to hope that Ladybug didn't know which designer was still missing if she actually was attending the show, and if he knew his partner (which he did), she would go searching for his father in a well-intentioned attempt to move him out of danger. Unfortunately, his attempt to distract her from figuring out which designer was missing was crushed before he could even open his mouth.

"AGRESTE! I KNOW YOU'RE HIDING! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU COWARD?" The sound of makeup stations overturning and fabric ripping carried through the air. All three superheroes cringed at the sound. "ONCE I GET YOU, YOU'LL GET STRUNG UP WITH YOUR LITTLE FASHION BUDDIES FROM THE TOP OF THE EIFFEL TOWER!"

Chat Noir winced, knowing full well that if Ladybug hadn't figured out who was missing before, she sure knew now. He chanced a glance at his father, wondering how he would deal with the problem. Gabriel was shrewd and levelheaded in the face of stress, something Adrien really wasn't. Maybe he could take notes, because he had been in a similar situation for a couple attacks and his shower excuse was wearing thin _really_ fast.

Ladybug gasped. "We need to find Mr. Agreste and get him out of the way of the Fashionista!"

Peacock Man rolled his eyes. "Or we could simply defeat Fashionista and return to our regular lives."

"We can't just _abandon_ someone to an akuma!" Ladybug insisted, taking a sharp turn and heading straight for the Agreste Fashion section of backstage. The area was a _mess_ , with makeup and hair spray scattered across the floor and making it sticky. Clearly the Fashionista had already been through the area.

Chat Noir took a moment to wonder just how Ladybug knew the backstage area so well. She hadn't even needed to consult a map to find his father's preparation area.

Peacock Man's expression turned disgusted as he picked his way across the floor. His footsteps made cringe-worthy sticky sounds as he walked. "Your light will fix this, correct?"

"Yeah, yeah." Ladybug looked worried as she glanced around the trashed backstage. "We should hurry if we want to find Mr. Agreste before the Fashionista does. It sounds like he won't dangle people off the Eiffel Tower until he finds all the fashion designers, so if even one is hidden..."

Chat Noir glanced at his father again. Peacock Man didn't look even remotely bothered.

Fashionista's crashing echoed through the building. "AGRESTE! WHERE ARE YOU?"

Ladybug frowned. "I wonder where he went?"

Peacock Man heaved a long, heavy sigh as he inspected a ripped piece of clothing. Chat Noir recognized it as part of the woman's formalwear lineup. "Right here, I presume."

Chat Noir froze and his head whipped around as he stared at his father. " _What are you doing?"_ he mouthed furiously. Hadn't Mezza told Gabriel about the whole _secrecy_ part of being a superhero? Granted, he hadn't even waited a day before revealing himself to Adrien, but that was _different_. He was _family_.

Predictably, his father ignored him.

Ladybug turned around, her brow furrowed as she surveyed the room. "Where?"

With an even longer, louder sigh, Peacock Man waved somewhat sarcastically at Ladybug before turning back into Gabriel Agreste in a flurry of blue and green light. Ladybug and Chat Noir's mouths dropped open in unison, though for slightly different reasons.

"You- you can't just _do_ that!" Chat Noir spluttered out loud after a moment as Ladybug continued to stare. _What was his father thinking?_ He was going to end up giving them _both_ away. "You couldn't have, I don't know, made up some sort of excuse? Untransformed elsewhere, been taken to safety, and then return transformed?"

Gabriel Agreste rolled his eyes as he transformed again in a storm of blue and green sparkles. " _Hardly._ It's a waste of time and we already have very little time to waste before the runway shows start getting late. Besides," Peacock Man added with a huff, turning to head after the Fashionista's yells. "I'm not you. I'm hardly going to pretend that I'm in the shower every time an akuma attack threatening me comes around. _That_ is just undignified."

Ladybug and Chat Noir both froze again as Peacock Man's words sunk in. Ladybug's eyes slid over to Chat Noir, and he could practically see the cogs turning in her head as she glanced between him and his father. It was too much to hope that she wouldn't put the pieces together- Adrien was the only person that she had ever "caught" in the shower, and try as he might, he couldn't school his features into anything besides _alarmed_ (his model training was failing him big-time). He was sure that his deer-in-the-headlights expression was going to give him away any second now-

_"ADRIEN?!"_

**Author's Note:**

> As with most of my stories, this IS a one-shot and is therefore complete.
> 
> Please leave reviews! They make my day :)


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